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Hugh White Training Stables Newsletter - May 2010
If it were any better, it would be illegal.

Taking a Gander: Two Canadian Geese check out the footing in one of the new rings.

Find your Favorites! Click a link to go directly to any section or page:
Barn Dirt | Dear Murray | HW Jumping Clinic | Show Schedule | Calendar | "Near Side" cartoon | Links
BLOGS Jody's Blog | Hugh's Blog  
PHOTO ALBUMS 2010 Competitions | 2010 Around the Barn

 

Boxes and standards and poles, oh my! Colorful jump elements stack up like planes waiting to land at O'Hare.

 

Sonoma Horse Park 2010 Series gets underway this month!

Sonoma Horse Park will host 8 rated shows including the Giant Steps Charity Classic in August and Strides and Tides (featuring the Hudson Medal Finals an NorCal Equestrian Challenge) in September. For detailed information on classes, prize lists and entry forms, visit http://www.sonomahorsepark.com

Sonoma Horse Park 2010 Rated Horse Show Series
Equestrian Challenge (C) - May 19 - 23 entries close April 27 class list | schedule | entry form
June Classic (A) - June 16 - 20 entries close May 25 class list | schedule | entry form
Equestrian Classic I (AA) - July 27 - August 1
Giant Steps Charity (C) - August 4 - 8
** Just added ** San Francisco Classic (A) August 18 – 22
August Classic (A) - August 25 - 29
September Classic (A) - September 8 - 12
Strides & Tides (A) - September 15 - 19

Avoid post entry fees! ENTER ONLINE at showgroundslive.com

Sonoma Horse Park "Friendship Series" -
The "Friendship Series" features non-rated horse shows that will take place on Saturday and Sunday during the rated shows. No association memberships or non-member fees are required to participate in this series.

June Classic Friendship Show – June 19-20 class List | entry form
July Classic Friendship Show – July 31-Aug 1
Giant Steps Charity Friendship Show – Aug 7-8
San Francisco Classic Friendship Show – Aug 21-22
August Classic Friendship Show – Aug 28-29
September Classic Friendship Show – Sep 11-12
Strides & Tides Friendship Show – Sept 18-19

Not everything is finished. There will be growing pains. Everybody is working really hard to make the Horse Park fabulous, but it will take time and lots of adjustments. Please give everybody credit for their hard work. Enjoy the opportunity to show at home in a fabulous facility. Offer only constructive criticism, and remember that things will only get better. And while you're at it, clean up your damned crossties.

Hell Freezes Over

It took time. It took perseverence. It took threats. It took learning to type. But Hugh has finally started a blog! He's a great storyteller with a lifetime of experience to share. Follow him at: http://whites-farm.blogspot.com/

Jody also has a blog. If you're not afraid of a little (or a lot) of snark and sarcasm, check out Seinblog. We bet you can't read just one. Follow Jody at: http://seinblogjlw.blogspot.com/ This month's recommended reading: The Six Million Dollar Hat

Contribute to the HWTS Newsletter!

Be part of the dysfunctional fun! Send incriminating photos, sordid news stories and links to questionable content to art@misfitdesignshq.com. You can remain anonymous if you include some cash. Also please let us know if you find any links on this page that aren't working. Sometimes we put in dead links on purpose just to see if anybody is reading and paying attention. More often a dead link occurs because our proofreaders suck.

 

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Wondering what's been happening in the barn this month? Subscribe to BARN DIRT, the only online column that isn't afraid to tell you what's REALLY going on. Happy, sad, embarrassing or incriminating, we don't care. Send news and gossip to us care of Hugh at the email link at the top of the page. If you can't think of anything newsworthy, just make something up, our fact checkers suck.

Barn victimized by drive-by landscaping

HWTS is still looking for the unidentified individuals who snuck in and landscaped our barn area when we weren't looking. Investigation revealed that the caper was masterminded by Lindsey Forbes with support from Brenda Bottum, Park Landscape and McClure Electric. Whether or not charges will be filed remains to be seen. Click here for the full photo story.

Please don't expect the upscale appearance to change anything. We're just the Clampetts living in Beverly Hills now. We'll still have dogs tied to the porch and be shooting beer cans off the fence. Although we need to be a bit more careful now; if a bullet ricochets off any of that river rock, somebody will lose an eye. Again.

Does anybody really know what time it is?

As if the landscaping wasn't a big enough shock, HWTS was rocked by the appearance of a clock with two hands and a working battery. Reactions were mixed, but everyone agrees that it will take some time (pun intended) to get used to having a clock that is functional rather than decorative and that is accurate more than twice per day. Students who had been using the old clock as an excuse to be late for lessons are petitioning to have the former timepiece reinstated.

New Faces in the Barn*

HWTS Welcomes the new horses and their people! Otto is Connolly Bottum's new horse...also affectionately known as "chocolate moose." Larkspur is back with his new person, Andie. And Welcome as well to Lancer (equus eatus anythingus) and Amanda Green.

*Several other new people asked us – okay, paid us – to not publish their names or photos or mention that they were in any way associated with us. Whatever.

All in all, it's just another brick wall

This month we proudly reveal the new brick wall jump that Hugh received for Christmas. A photo documentary of the inevitable progression of dirt, manure, and horse-and-rider shaped holes is forthcoming. Meanwhile, place your bets as to who(m) takes the first hit.

Jubal gets adopted

Thank you to Kelley Wick and Valley of the Moon Pony Club for adopting Jubal! Jubal has a great home where he is lavished with attention and adored by little and big kids alike. Thanks for giving him a place where he can happily spook at flowers and recoil from Kleenex for years to come.

Jubal is happy to received visitors any time, just stop by Skyview Equestrian in Sonoma. You can check out Jubal's new digs here.

 

This Buddha's 4 U

An unidentified one-eyed horse trainer perpetrated an unprecendented and sacriligious April Fool's day prank by creating the "Texting Buddha" sculpture outside Burgundy Farms' barn. When asked for comment, the trainer (disguised in a baseball hat with fake hair attached and a purple feather boa) said "I'm already going to hell, how many more times can I go? I might as well enjoy the trip."

Say Goodnight, Graycie

Our little barn cat Graycie died last month. She is resting under the Eucalyptus trees next to Little Dog. Graycie was a great hunter and a big, affectionate ball of fluff. We'll miss her. (Note to Kiara: Leave her where she is. Do not dig her up to play with her.)

 

The Frozen South

Some people go to Mexico for spring break. Some people need to go a little further south. Like, to Ant-freakin'-arctica. Connolly's clever disguise allowed her to mingle unnoticed with the formally-attired denizens at the bottom of the world when she and Brenda made a once-in-a-lifetime trip. Visit the Vicarious Vacations photo album (click it, it's a link) for a larger view of this photo and another striking image from the trip. If you have vacation photos to share, email them to art@misfitdesignhq.com.

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ARE YOU A FAN OF THE HW JUMPING CLINIC? We've created a compendium of all your favorite columns. Click here for The Best of the Hugh White Jumping Clinic in PDF format.

 So many crappy photos, so little beer.

The good news: you're jumping the center of the fence. The bad news: everything else. Why is your arm sticking out like that? Either you are an amputee trying to signal a right-hand turn or you think this spastic gesture will tell your horse something. If what you're trying to tell him is 'turn completely upside down and crush the bejesus out of me,' your chance of success looks good. For the love of god TURN IN TO THE SKID. I hope you don't whip around corners in the beemer your daddy buys you for your 16th birthday like you're careening around this course. I hope your Drivers' Ed teacher bring a change of underwear when it's your turn behind the wheel.

I didn't even know horses could get in to this position. Guess all that equine chiropractic work is going to hell in a handbasket. As for your turnout...the only thing I see turned out is your elbow. Why do I keep doing this column? It's just five more minutes of my life I can't get back.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE CONSIDERED for future installments of the Hugh White Jumping Clinic, email photos to art@misfitdesignshq.com. If you would like a big black box put over your face, include $50. If you want to be assured that you will NEVER appear in the Hugh White Jumping Clinic, send $1000 in small, unmarked bills. Sorry, no checks or credit cards accepted.

If you'd like to know when the Hugh White Training Stables Newsletter has been updated, please send your email address to art@misfitdesignsHQ.com and we will include you on the distribution list. We won't send you a bunch of dumb jokes, chain letters or other crap. We hate that stuff.

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2010 Horse Show Schedule - Updated May 11, 2010

Sonoma Horse Park's inaugural year of rated horse shows begins with the the Equestrian Challenge in May. Come experience all that Northern California's newest, most prestigious horse show facility, located at the beautiful Riverside Equestrian Center in Petaluma, CA, has to offer!

Not sure where you'd like to show? Check out some of Northern California's show facilities by clicking the blue links below.

Murieta Equine Complex, Rancho Murieta, CA	Woodside Horse Park, Woodside, CA
Starr Vaughn Equestrian, Elk Grove, CA	Leone Equestrian Center, Sacramento, CA
Pebble Beach Eq. Center, Pebble Beach, CA	Menlo Charity Horse Show, Atherton, CA
Brookside Equestrian Park, Elk Grove, CA	Sonoma Horse Park, Petaluma, CA

2010 NorCal Horse Shows

 

May 2010

SUN	MON	TUES	WED	THURS	FRI	SAT
						1
2	3	4	5	29 Woodside Spring Classic	7	8
9	10	11	12	13	14	15
16	17	18	19 Sonoma Horse Park HMI Equest. Challenge Enter Online	20	21	22
23	24	25	19 Leone Equestrian Golden State	27	28	29
30	31

 

June 2010

SUN	MON	TUES	WED	THURS	FRI	SAT
		1	2 Leone Equestrian Pickwick Summer	3	4	5
6	7	8	9 Brookside Let's Show Beach Party	10	11	12
13	14	15	16 Sonoma Horse Park HMI June Classic Enter Online	17	18	19
20	21	22	23	24 Woodside Circuit Opener	25	26
27	28	29	24 Woodside Summer Festival	1	2	3

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Find more seriously funny stuff at the MISFIT DESIGNS online store.
This concludes the shameless self-promotion portion of our program.

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Just for Fun – videos we think you'll like

Mounted Police Demonstration	Camel Dressage
2008 ASPCA Maclay Finals Rideoff	"Teddy O'connor" Cross Country at Rolex
Molly - Amazing pony with prosthetic leg	Amazing Prix Course with about 30 jumping efforts!
World High Jump Record (8 feet 2 inches)	Night of the Horse High Jump (seven feet)

Horse Show Organizations/Associations

U.S. Equestrian Federation (USEF)	U.S. Hunter-Jumper Association (USHJA)
NORCAL Hunter/Jumper Association	Pacific Coast Horse Shows Association (PCHA)
California Professional Horsemens' Assn (CPHA)

Publications & Information

Riverside Equestrian Center Website	Bay Area Equestrian Network
The Exchange - Horses For Sale	Stable Woman Gazette -For Horsewomen Everywhere
Sonoma Horse Park at Riverside Eq. Center

Show News & Results

Horseshowtime.com (Nationwide Show Results)
Langer Equest. Group (Woodside & Southern CA Show News/Results)
Pebble Beach (Pebble Beach Show News/Results)

Horse Show Photo/Video Services

Sheri Scott Photography	Off The Beaten Path Event Photography
Photos By Field	Naismith Photography
Jenny Harris - Equestrian's Concierge and SHP

Gifts, Products & Services

MISFIT DESIGNS - Horse Art & Humor	USRider – Roadside Assistance for Equestrians
Kim Vogee - Natural Light Photography	The Equestrian's Concierge - Tack, Supplies, Services

 

Membership Information & Forms

RENEW YOUR MEMBERSHIPS NOW! Memberships expire each year on November 30. Remember, USEF members must now ALSO be members of the United States Hunter-Jumper Association (USHJA). And of course you must be a member of NORCAL and PCHA if you want any of your horse show points to count toward year end awards. Points are NOT retroactive, so be sure to join BEFORE you compete!

NOTE: To be able to view and print these forms, you must have Adobe Acrobat Reader installed on your computer. The software is FREE and can be downloaded from the Adobe website.
Click here to get free Acrobat Reader software

To join or renew membership in NORCAL online, click here.
To download a copy of the PCHA Membership Form, click here.
To get info on how to join or renew a USEF Membership, click here.
For NorCal contact info or to view the NORCAL RULE BOOK online, click here.
To view the PCHA RULE BOOK online, click here.

Newsletter designed and written by JL Werner and MISFIT DESIGNS.

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