Hugh White Training Stables

 


Hugh White Training Stables Newsletter - Augtember 2009
The most popular barn newsletter on the web! (because we said so.)


What the hay: The first cutting of the year is baled, stacked and ready for eatin'....

Find your Favorites! Click on the blue links to go directly to any section:
Barn Dirt | Dear Murray | HW Jumping Clinic | Horse Show Schedule | Calendar | Mac & Jill | Links Need even more snark and sarcasm in your day? Check out Seinblog.

Riders win big at home and away
HWTS riders returned from the Pebble Beach Classics with a decadent collection of ribbons, sashes, championship jackets, coolers, and citations for various regulartory infractions. After a foreshortened performance in the Grand Prix during week one, Hugh and La Princesa (June Bug) came back to place fourth out of 51 horses in the Pebble Beach Derby during week two. Eric posted ribbon-winning rounds in the Adult Jumpers as did Joan and Syrah. Joan also placed fourth in the Adult Jumper Derby and got to take part in her very first victory gallop. Hugh rode Syrah to a win in a class of 23 on the way to the .95 meter jumper reserve championship (he was champion in the same division on Imagine That).

Connolly and Imagine That (Maybe) won the Pre-Childrens Jumper Championship both weeks and concluded with another win in the Jumper Classic on the final day. Connolly also won ribbons in jumpers and equitation on her pony, "Simply Smashing". Note: both Imagine That and Simply Smashing are for sale! Check them out by clicking here.

Not to be outdone, the students back at the barn did equally well in the July 19th Sonoma Park Horse Show, where Katie Braznell rode Morrison to the Championship in the Adult Hunter Section. Pippa, Catherine, Lisa and Cynthia all took home ribbons in their equitaiton, medal and hunter classes, with Pippa and Lisa both qualifying for the Carousel Medal Finals in September. Pippa received the dubious honor of winning the Best Eight Fences Done in the Wrong Order. See photos from these shows and other 2009 competitions and clinics by clicking here.

Wanna know what else is happening around the barn? Check out the latest photos here.

 

A MESSAGE FROM YOUR INSTRUCTOR

Most of the time, I enjoy teaching. But if I’m ill, it can be a challenge. I’m a little bit off my game then. Therefore I’ve written this primer as a guide to help you get the most out of taking riding lessons with me when I’m not feeling well.

I’ll be sleeping in my car until it’s time to start the lesson. It’s your responsibility to wake me up. I’ll need at least ten minutes to remember where I am and what I’m doing and another five minutes to visit the porta-potty and load up on cold meds.

Instead of walking around the riding arena during the lesson, I’ll be planting myself in a chair in the nearest patch of shade. Do not expect me to get up for any reason.

Instructions may consist of things like ‘drop your stirrups and wake me up in ten minutes’ and ‘ride single file down to the drug store and bring back cough syrup while remaining in two point.’



I will try to remember your names.



If my voice gives out, hand signals will be used. Three fingers means canter. Two means trot. One means walk.

A circular motion with the hand means reverse.
A wide sweeping motion with one arm means speed up.
A short quick motion means slow down.

Flailing my arms wildly probably means I have a bee in my hair, but could also mean you’re about to do something that will result in bodily harm to yourself or others. Interpret as you see fit.

Both hands clutching my chest means I need CPR.



If I point at a fence it means I want you to jump it. 

You’ll know by the expression on my face afterwards if it was any good or not. 



A look of relief means it was good.

No change in expression means it was OK.

A raised eyebrow means it could have been worse.

Rolling my eyes means it WAS worse.


Burying my face in my hands is a good indication that it’s time for you to give up and go home.

I’ll have my cell phone with me. If you fall off, I’ll call your cell phone. If you answer it I’ll tell you what you did wrong. If you don’t answer I’ll know to dial 911.

Finally, I will expect someone to bring a car down to drive me back to the barn when the lesson is over. If you forget, and I have to walk back, you had better be gone by the time I get there.

I hope this helps. See you at the barn.


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Wondering what's been happening in the barn this month? Subscribe to BARN DIRT, the only online column that isn't afraid to tell you what's REALLY going on. Happy, sad, embarrassing or incriminating, we don't care. Send news and gossip to us care of Hugh at the email link at the top of the page. If you can't think of anything newsworthy, just make something up, our fact checkers suck.



I Beg Your Pardon

...you never promised us a rose garden. No wait, you did. Everyone at HWTS would like to thank Cynthia Kenyon for planning, executing and supplying beautiful bushes for the new rose garden in front of the barn. Thank you also to Lisa, Katie and Ithaka for planting the roses and to Jody for (as of yet) managing to NOT kill them. Future plans include new grass, a bench, and a big statue of Bob's Big Boy in the center. (Note: we need volunteers for that last part, please contact Hugh if you're willing to help. Preference will be given to those with pickup trucks, night-vision goggles and "abatement" experience).


Iron Atrosity Wreaks Havoc at Riverside.

In a resurrection event of Biblical proportions – despite multiple attempts to bury it, hide it, deposit it in the Petaluma River and sell it on eBay as a boat anchor – the bronze horse statue has reappeared at Riverside. Now a part of the Giant Steps Therapeutic Riding center landscape, it is strategically placed so as to be out of our jurisdiction while remaining in full, horrifying view of our horses. Whether or not some godfather-esque retaliation is being planned is unknown. (Note: volunteers for the Bob's Big Boy abatement mentioned above, we may have another job for you ....)


Horse of the Month Club

Welcome to Bianca Stark-Falcone and her horse Samson, who now occupies the coveted rent-by-the-week stall at the end of the barn aisle. Horses that occupy this stall seem to mysteriously appear and disappear without warning. Last month's tenants have been missing for over three weeks, along with two bits, a bridle, a tire tool, hose, six pack of beer and some saddle pads. We'd really like the beer back.

Hooligan turns one; orientation unclear.

Since being gelded, Hooligan has become a bit confused on the subject of species and gender. This confusion was apparent when he arrived at his birthday party sporting a purple feather boa and antennae. Sheila admits she is partially to blame, quoting "maybe I shouldn't have started dressing him in women's clothing the day after he was born." Hooligan spent the day enjoying carrot birthday cake, hanging out with his barn buddies and listening to Bette Midler and Broadway show tune CDs. To see more photos from Hooligan's birthday party, click here.




Public Service Announcement

Do not go on trail rides with Hugh. We have warned you not to go on trail rides with Hugh. Didn't we warn you not to go on trail rides with Hugh? How many times do we have to warn you to not go on trail rides with Hugh?

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This is a classic example of why you should confirm your horse's flight plans before taking off ahead of him. However, if your riding goals include putting the children of your local maxillofacial surgeon through medical school, this is the way to accomplish it.

I can't see your leg but would bet the farm that it is not in the "on" position. Judging by your soft following hand (which is exemplary, by the way, you'll be the talk of the ER Trauma Unit) you never even saw this train wreck coming. While you are recovering in the hospital and have nothing better to do than play around on your computer, I suggest you google "Legs, Seat: Use of When Approaching a Fence" and see if you can comprehend the error of your ways.

As for your turnout, the red coat was a good choice; it won't show the blood stains. Oh, and you might just get your money's worth out of that hoity-toity $500 helmet if it keeps your nose from exiting the back of your head. You might also want to think about tipping the guys on the jump crew who have to stay behind after the show to look for your teeth.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE CONSIDERED for future installments of the Hugh White Jumping Clinic, email photos to art@misfitdesignshq.com. If you would like a big black box put over your face, include $50. If you want to be assured that you will NEVER appear in the Hugh White Jumping Clinic, send $1000 in small, unmarked bills. Sorry, no checks or credit cards accepted.

If you'd like to know when the Hugh White Training Stables Newsletter has been updated, please send your email address to art@misfitdesignsHQ.com and we will include you on the distribution list. We won't send you a bunch of dumb jokes, chain letters or other crap. We hate that stuff.

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2009 Horse Show Schedule - Updated June 8, 2009

Sonoma Horse Park's 2009 series of one-day, unrated (no non-member fees!) shows at the beautiful Riverside Equestrian Center facility in Petaluma, CA. Come join us on May 3, June 14, July 19, August 16 and October 4.

Not sure where you'd like to show? Check out some of Northern California's show facilities by clicking the blue links below.

Murieta Equine Complex, Rancho Murieta, CA Woodside Horse Park, Woodside, CA
Starr Vaughn Equestrian, Elk Grove, CA Leone Equestrian Center, Sacramento, CA
Pebble Beach Eq. Center, Pebble Beach, CA Menlo Charity Horse Show, Atherton, CA
Brookside Equestrian Park, Elk Grove, CA Sonoma Horse Park, Petaluma, CA

2009 NorCal Horse Shows

Month
Date
Show Name
Location
Rating
AUG
13-16
Wine Country Classic Santa Rosa B
AUG
16
Sonoma Horse Park Petaluma unrated
SEP
4-7
Woodside Labor Day Classic Woodside A
SEP
9-13
Strides & Tides Pebble Beach A
SEP
16-20
Pickwick Fall Classic Elk Grove A
SEP
24-27
Woodside Fall Finale Woodside A
OCT
1-4
Leone Fall Festival Elk Grove B
OCT
4
Sonoma Horse Park Petaluma unrated
OCT
7-11
NorCal Medal Finals Elk Grove A
OCT
15-18
Horse & Hound Medal Finals Elk Grove B
OCT
21-25
Let' Show Halloween Rancho Murieta B
OCT
28-Nov1
Pebble Beach Equestrian Ch. Pebble Beach A

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August 2009

SUN
MON
TUES
WED
THURS
FRI
SAT
            1
2 3
4
Menlo Charity
6
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
Wine
Country
Classic
14
15
16
Sonoma
Horse
Park

17
18 19 20 21 22
23

24
25
26 27 28 29
30 31 1 2 3 5

 

September 2009

SUN
MON
TUES
WED
THURS
FRI
SAT


1 2
3 5
6
7
8
11
11
12
13 14
15
17 18
19
20 21
22
23
25 26
27

28
29
30
2 3

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Out to Pasture and other seriously funny stuff
can be found at the MISFIT DESIGNS online store.
This concludes the shameless self-promotion portion of our program.

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Just for Fun – videos we think you'll like

Mounted Police Demonstration Camel Dressage
2008 ASPCA Maclay Finals Rideoff "Teddy O'connor" Cross Country at Rolex
Molly - Amazing pony with prosthetic leg Amazing Prix Course with about 30 jumping efforts!
World High Jump Record (8 feet 2 inches) Night of the Horse High Jump (seven feet)


Horse Show Organizations/Associations

U.S. Equestrian Federation (USEF) U.S. Hunter-Jumper Association (USHJA)
NORCAL Hunter/Jumper Association Pacific Coast Horse Shows Association (PCHA)
California Professional Horsemens' Assn (CPHA)  


Publications & Information

Riverside Equestrian Center Website Bay Area Equestrian Network
The Exchange - Horses For Sale Equestrian Network Magazine- News, Humor, Classifieds
Sonoma Horse Park at Riverside Eq. Center  


Show News & Results

Horseshowtime.com (Nationwide Show Results)
Langer Equest. Group (Woodside & Southern CA Show News/Results)
Pebble Beach (Pebble Beach Show News/Results)


Horse Show Photographers

Sheri Scott Photography Off The Beaten Path Event Photography
Photos By Field Naismith Photography


Gifts, Products & Services

MISFIT DESIGNS - Horse Art & Humor USRider – Roadside Assistance for Equestrians
Kim Vogee - Natural Light Photography The Equestrian's Concierge - Tack, Supplies, Services

 

Membership Information & Forms

RENEW YOUR MEMBERSHIPS NOW! Memberships expire each year on November 30. Remember, USEF members must now ALSO be members of the United States Hunter-Jumper Association (USHJA). And of course you must be a member of NORCAL and PCHA if you want any of your horse show points to count toward year end awards. Points are NOT retroactive, so be sure to join BEFORE you compete!

NOTE: To be able to view and print these forms, you must have Adobe Acrobat Reader installed on your computer. The software is FREE and can be downloaded from the Adobe website.
Click here to get free Acrobat Reader software


To download a copy of the NORCAL Membership Form in PDF format, click here.
To download a copy of the PCHA Membership Form in PDF format, click here.
To get info on how to join or renew a USEF Membership, click here.


Newsletter designed and written by JL Werner and MISFIT DESIGNS.



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